The Roller Coaster
“They really know how to rattle my cage.” You hear that expression a bit when it comes to young people. So what does your average ‘cage rattling’ look like? Well, it can vary in pitch from an aggressive screaming episode down to more passive/aggressive reactions like back chat and eye rolling through to an even more passive (but just as irritating) sulking or ‘foot dragging.’
Each young person generally has a specialization from the above list and it is generally very well rehearsed to the point of being almost a superpower in it’s incredible ability to get their parent’s cage rattling like a poorly balanced tumble drier.
You will generally know that your cage is rattling by the feeling that you may suddenly have the inexplicable feeling that you don’t like your child very much at this particular moment and might be open to selling them to the highest bidder.
For those of you, who are familiar with a good cage rattling at the hands of a young person I’d like to share a helpful frame that can return us to a place of understanding. So let me start with a confession.
I love rollercoasters. That’s not the confession. It’s still coming… But I have to let you know – I don’t completely trust them. Still not the confession, be patient…
There’s something I do every time I get in to my seat on one of these contraptions. As I sit down there’s a process where they drop the cage or ‘restraint’ over your shoulders. Then the attendant walks past and gives the cage a bit of a test.
Generally, their lack of really genuine interest in this process adds immeasurably to my pre-ride adrenalin levels. He or she walks passed me strapped into this instrument of terror and just like they did on the previous ride they give each of the cages a feeble little shake. A flimsy, limp wristed little shake. Nothing that would vaguely resemble the force that my 90 kg frame would generate while tumble turning and corkscrewing at terminal velocity. And so my next move is automatic.
As soon as that attendant has moved past my carriage and turned their back, I do what any logical human being would do. I shake the hell out of that cage like my life depends on it. Because actually… it does. I give that thing a shake not because I want it to fail. (I’m quite sure about this btw.) I shake it because I want to know that this roller coaster is as committed to me ‘coming home alive’ as I am. And I’ll bet you do the same. (There. That was the confession. We got there in the end. Phew.)
So let’s return to the kid who’s shaking everyone’s cage. What are they really doing? Commonly, they are testing to see if they are safe. They feel like they’re about to take a risk and they want to see if things are going to hold and who can blame them. So the next time a young person is rattling your cage – smile and let them rattle away knowing that they are safe and so are you.
And then everyone can get on with enjoying the ride.