The power of inclusion
“Okay everyone get into a group.” For a child lacking in confidence, this innocent request can be like a harpoon of fear right into their little heart. Suddenly, their head can be filled with thoughts like, “I’m the new kid. No one will want to be with me. I’ll be the last chosen.” Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy…
They might even drop their head, shuffle their feet, move to the side and accept their ‘fate’ complete with an “I told you so” style eye-roll and “here we go again” style head-shake. But what this person cannot see as they investigate the nuances of their boot laces once more, is that they are not the only one who wishes someone would just choose them. In fact, the whole class wants to be chosen. We all want to belong. It’s a basic human need.
But here’s the rub. When we focus on needing to be chosen we are abdicating our power to choose and our responsibility to making others feel loved or cared for. To the person who leaves themselves out I have this to say…
‘Please don’t leave yourself out. Take the focus off yourself. Step up and be the change you want to see in the world. Focus on who YOU can help. Become the chooser rather than the choose and suddenly you are powerful again and you are making someone else feel that you care. And you know how good that feels.
To the group I say …
‘If you’re not intentionally including everyone, you may be unintentionally excluding someone.’
So again, lift your gaze from your boots and yourself and place yourself in the situation of someone who desperately wishes that someone would notice them and care. Extend your relationships beyond one or two friends and create the kind of group where everyone belongs.
Because inclusion is everyone’s responsibility. And if you’re not contributing to the inclusion of others, then you are unwittingly participating in their isolation.