Brave Conversations

Receiving feedback with an open heart and mind is definitely an act of courage because you are being vulnerable. Before you receive feedback from others I would encourage you to pass the feedback through these three gates.

Firstly, does the person care about me? – if they don’t then their feedback could be coming from a place of jealousy, cruelty or just plain old disregard.

Secondly, is the person familiar with me? – do they know about me and how I best integrate feedback and what I most need right now – if they don’t then they might give great advice but it might not be relevant to you.

Thirdly, does the person have any expertise? – do they know what they’re talking about? Have they done it? If they haven’t, their feedback might be inaccurate.

Now it’s not to say that you can’t receive useful feedback from people who don’t care about you, aren’t familiar with you and have no expertise. You actually can, but you have to have a big filter on anything they say.

And here’s the best question you can ask not “how was that?” Or “What did you think?” because people will generally want to be supportive. They also don’t want to give you feedback on something that you can’t change.

Instead ask “How could I improve for next time?”             

Also, don’t forget to ask, what they liked. Success leaves footprints too, you know?

These two questions will give you some “gold.”       

And please remember, not everyone is going to love everything you do. Everyone has their own tastes and that is as it should be. The feedback of others is not a definition of your worth. It is just a perspective to consider.

And remember what ‘Big Ari’(AKA Aristotle) had to say,

“The only way to avoid criticism is to do nothing, say nothing and be nothing.”    

Not a great option, I know! So, I think it’s important for us all to have the courage to seek feedback, the insight to choose where we get it and the diligence to implement it. Be a sponge for feedback and watch your work, skyrocket!

Andrew “the Sponge” Wright